Who Would Win In A Fight? The Battle of Fayetteville’s High School Mascots
The high schools of Fayetteville, North Carolina compete in a variety of sports like football, basketball, baseball, and soccer. But how competitive would their sports mascots be in a one-on-one, no-rules street brawl?
To find out (and pay homage to our nation’s annual obsession with brackets), we’re taking the mascots of eight Fayetteville high schools and running a single-elimination, winner-take-all tournament.
Big Mammal Bracket
Cape Fear Colt vs. E.E. Smith Golden Bull
A Colt has a mighty kick for sure, but against Golden Bull’s thick hide? Forget it. If you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns. Plus, this bull’s horns are apparently dipped in gold for even more damage.
Winner: E.E. Smith Golden Bull
Smaller Mammal Bracket
Terry Sanford Bulldog vs. Westover Wolverine
We know from the previous contest that bulls are strong, so it follows that a Bulldog is strong, too. However, the Wolverine has the advantage of mystery; nobody is really sure what it is or what it’s capable of. It is this sneaky cunning that allows the Wolverine to prevail.
Winner: Westover Wolverine
Douglas Byrd Eagle vs. Seventy-First Falcon
This swooping aerial battle is sure to be one for the ages. The proud Falcon and the mighty Eagle scream and peck at each other’s feathers, their talons locked in gravity-defying combat. In the end, however, the Eagle has to win because this is America, and Fayetteville is an All-America City.
Winner: Douglas Byrd Eagle
Jack Britt Buccaneer vs. Pine Forest Trojan
A sly pirate or a mighty warrior? Trojans have swords, shields, and years of grueling training. But pirates have gunpowder. Advantage: pirate.
Winner: Jack Britt Buccaneer
E.E. Smith Golden Bull vs. Westover Wolverine
Wolverine will try to be clever again, offering the bull untold riches to forfeit the fight. But what Wolverine is forgetting is that the Golden Bull is already made of gold. And he’s also forgetting that the bull can easily stomp on him.
Winner: E. E. Smith Golden Bull
Douglas Byrd Eagle vs. Jack Britt Buccaneer
While the eagle will probably enter the competition alone, the pirate will be devious enough to cheat by adding his parrot to the mix. Even worse for the eagle, he’s the only one in the fight who can’t speak English. While squawking about crackers, the parrot helps Buccaneer send Eagle to Davy Jones’ Locker.
Winner: Jack Britt Buccaneer
The Final: Golden Bull vs. Buccaneer
Buccaneer waves his pirate flag, matador style, in an attempt to lure Golden Bull. Unfortunately for Buccaneer, Golden Bull doesn’t see the flag because it’s black, not red. Undistracted, Golden Bull knocks down the pirate’s peg leg with his golden horn, then loops the pirate’s hook through his other golden horn, throwing him skyward.
Golden Bull stands alone on the field of victory, his skin glistening in the evening sunset.
Champion: E.E. Smith Golden Bull
Although the competition in this article has been entirely fictional, we know that in Fayetteville, the high school sports competition can be intense, and when you play hard, sports injuries can happen. Fortunately, FastMed Urgent Care is here for your Fayetteville athletic injuries.
Our average visit time is just an hour, so we can get all Fayetteville sports superstars treated and back into the game as quickly as possible.